Sometimes, We Need to be Offended

I was in my third year of undergrad at UT when I ACTUALLY got into the nitty gritty of my education classes. I remember getting my 40 page syllabus for my deaf education practicum class. (It may be bigger in my memories than it was in real life. In real life, it made me want to throw up) As I looked at the enormity of the class and its requirements, I began to feel overwhelmed. (I was NOT alone in the panic) As we were all expressing our imminent need for a paper bag to breathe into, I stated "All of this is just RETARDED!" The class stopped and looked at me. Like, looked at me in a way that immediately made me want to go back 15 seconds earlier and put all of those words back in my mouth and swallow them and then crawl into the biggest hole. It was after class that I realized that I was a major of a division of special education. And I was using that word to reference something I really didn't like. Out of all the words in the English dictionary, I chose that word. One that isn't even used any more to describe people with cognitive delays. It was at that moment that I realized how offensive I had been to a whole population of humans, their families, their service care providers, and to some of the most marginalized. Because I was being insensitive and not thinking.

Recently, I engaged in a conversation online in regards to a blog titled "One Thing Christians Should Stop Saying". I in NO way ever intended to start an online debate (Honestly, has anyone ever changed their opinion on anything based on a social media debate?!), but it did open up some discussion. One of the statements was that the commenter was tired of people always being offended by something. That she was tired of second guessing every word she says.

I get it. Me too. I'm afraid of being judged if I occasionally don't care that my kids are being quiet because they're watching YouTube for too long. I'm afraid of people thinking I'm unhealthy because I take antibiotics when prescribed or that I use Tilex to clean my showers. I get it that social media gives every single person who has a valid email address a public platform to declare their opinions as gospel and back it up by some other blogger who has unsubstantiated and subjective "data" to verify that their opinions are the only way to see it. It is exhausting. 

But, I'm gonna say this: sometimes, we NEED to be offended. Sometimes, we need to know that our words or our actions are hurtful, or inconsiderate. Sometimes, we need to know that something we are doing is causing others to not feel loved by us as we select a word from our vocabulary. As scripture speaks of not being inconsiderate of people by doing things that offend others, I fear that this is something we have lost out of being annoyed by being asked to change. But what about not being a stumbling block to someone? (1 Cor 8:12-13) What about loving your neighbors? (Matt 22:36-40) What about doing everything, in WORD AND DEED in the name of Jesus? (Col 3:17) 

As you read in all 4 of the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John), you will read that Jesus regularly offended people by calling them out on their actions. He spoke the Truth to them. They didn't want to hear it and they turned their heads and refused to listen and resolved to stop him. They were set in their ways and didn't want to be told that their ways weren't the way that The Lord had for them. 

Consider Hebrews 10:
12 But when Christ had offered for all time a single sacrifice for sins, he sat down at the right hand of God, 13 waiting from that time until his enemies should be made a footstool for his feet. 14 For by a single offering he has perfected for all time those who are being sanctified.

24 And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, 25 not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. 26 For if we go on sinning deliberately after receiving the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins, 27 but a fearful expectation of judgment, and a fury of fire that will consume the adversaries.

We are BEING SANCTIFIED. We need to daily look to be more like Christ and to live a holier life. We aren't done being perfected and made holy until we are called to heaven. Meaning, that, daily, there are changes we need to allow to our words, our actions, and our thoughts to be sure that they all reflect Jesus and are obedient to Christ (2 Cor 10:5). If a word I am using to describe someone that was created in the image of God hurts them and makes them doubt my love for them and therefore, doubt Jesus' love for them, then I am sinning deliberately.  

Don't misunderstand my words to say that I'm saying that we need to always be concerned about offending people, that we don't speak the Truth. But, Scripture is VERY clear that, to speak that Truth, it must be done in LOVE. And not just a "I love you, so I'm going to speak without thinking about how those words will feel as they roll off of my tongue and into your soul." But, as "I love you so much that I'm going to love you as the Heavenly Father loves you and I'm going to select my words so carefully that Jesus is all that's heard and not me."

The thing is, it isn't my job to convict people. The Holy Spirit does NOT need my help. He is perfectly sufficient to do His job. My job is clear: to love God and love people. 

Matthew 22:37 And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. 38 This is the great and first commandment. 39 And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. 40 On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.”

On that day in the Spring of 2004, if a dear friend hadn't told me in love how offensive that word was to others, I probably would have continued to use it without thought. If someone hadn't listened to an activist who said "When you use this word to describe my race or people of my skin color, it hurts." certain words would still be used. Sometimes, we NEED to be offended. Sometimes, we need to change our status quo. 

This isn't about being politically correct. And please don't make it that. Don't debate whether or not someone's sin should be overlooked because you don't want to offend people. If that's what you're taking from this, then you are missing my point. I get that this may leave your toes feeling trampled. Mine have been too. But I'm so glad they were. 

If you're not sure, find a friend and ask. People are so much more gracious than you could ever imagine if you use the phrase, "Hey, I am working with a person who _____ and I don't want to offend them.  What's the proper way to ____?" THAT is love. That is considering the other person. So often, we sin because we are uncomfortable and aren't willing to ask the hard questions. They're welcome and they're okay. Be vulnerable. 

So, read the blogs, consider another perspective. Weigh it with prayer and act as you feel led. When you speak to someone about something that has potential for being offensive, remember that the person that you are talking about or to was called "special" and is part of the "whosoever" in John 3:16. I know that I regularly offend people (My foot thinks its home is permanently in my mouth), but God forbid, that I continue to do it once I am told otherwise. And, Lord, shut my mouth if my words keep a person from knowing the redeeming freedom that is Jesus. 

"Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger." James 1:19