Never a quitter, but possibly over-committed

Growing up as a child, we had the rule that if you started something, you finished it. This rule showed itself to me when I was in my second year of dance. My best friend, Ashley, loved dance and since she and I did everything together, I danced. My first year was okay mostly because we had blue sparkley tutus for our recital. During the recital, the sequins of my tutu got stuck to the girl's next to me; this proved very difficult to do my turns. I kept my smile on my face and would do half of a turn and then turn the other way. The next year, I knew our tutus were GORGEOUS, so I decided to endure another year (anything for my best friend and a beautiful tutu). That year, I didn't like my teacher and continued to wish I was at gymnastics instead of another year of dance. But, a rule was a rule: I had to finish the class. The recital was the happiest day; the end of the class! O.Ver.Joyed. I hated dance, but the rule always was to finish what you have commited to.
Fast forward 20 years and that principle is still engrained upon my being.

I have neve been one to have a "bucket list". I have mostly been a girl who lived in the moment and was ready for whatever came about. For those of you who have been reading my blog for a while, you know that I barely survived childbirth (Having Baby Boso). My case was extremely rare and there are nearly no studies about cases similar to mine, so I have no way to know if it will happen again. So, I began to set real, personal, goals for myself. These differed greatly for me from a type of resolution; I REALLY wanted to do these! One of the goals was to figure out how to run.

I remember so vividly, in elementary school, having to do the Presidential Fitness test and we had to run a mile. I dreaded this (I mean, why not just quit on the sit-and-reach?!) and always finished near the end of my class. So, after my lovefest with Weight Watchers , I found a 5k training program on their website and started running.

The running was going well so I continued to add mileage and I set my eye on the ultimate run: the marathon (Why didn't someone smack me when I thought about this?!). We decided to do the Kentucky Derby Marathon in April. Our ultimate goal was to run the Disney Marathon in January, but we wanted to be sure to have our first marathon jitters out of the way so we could enjoy Disney. It was set. That would give us off time from training during the crazy-busy summer months.

I was finishing my 5th week of training and got a fairly large ovarian cyst that caused me to take a pause in my running. The same week, it was determined that Lee has Planter Fasciitis and concluded that his foot wouldn't heal enough to be able to train for the marathon. I tried to run my 10 miler on Sunday and had to have Lee pick me up 2.5 miles in. I had run 9 the week before without batting an eye and then couldn't even run a 5k. I was devastated and humiliated. The reality of what this cyst may cause was starting to set in: this thing isn't going to go away overnight and it hurt too much to run with it.

Early in my training, I had a few discussions with our pastor, Dana (who is a multi-marathoner), about my marathoning plans. He discouraged (on SEVERAL occasions) running 2 marathons in 8 months. Dana had been out of the country and caught me a few hours after my failed run, at the right vulnerable moment, to give me another amount of encouragement to forego the full marathon and to run the half marathon instead. What he said to me, for the first time in months, made sense. My ultimate goal was to run the Disney Marathon, in its entire 26.2 miles of glory. Many studies suggest that it can take up to a year for your body to recover from a marathon. So, why jeopardize not being able to achieve my goal because of a "practice" marathon. The nail in the coffin was when he said that he didn't think I realized what stress running a marathon puts on a person's body; much less 2 marathons in 8 months. The thought of all of the time I would be losing of spending time with Nina during the peak of marathon training also began to weigh heavily on my mind. I wrestled for two days about what i thought I was going to do, and have decided that for once I am going to listen to the advice of those who have paved the way ahead of me.

So, here's to half marathon training (or mini-marathon, as they call it at the Derby) and running the full Run Disney on January 6, 2013!

My Spiritual Act of Worship

My whole life, I have loved to sing. My first solo that I remember was in the biggest church production of a children's play I have ever been witness to, The Great Late Potentate. I practiced the song "Listen" like I was about to perform in front of thousands. I practiced so much that to this day, 20 years later, I can still sing every word.

As my life progressed, I would blast my music as loudly as my ears could physically handle (or as much as my parents could handle) and would rock out to Point of Grace until the whole CD was over, grab some water, and put in the next CD.

Then, came my car. Once I got to college and had long road trips home, I would load up my 12 CD disc changer and sing until I barely had a voice to talk when I reached my destination. When I was hired as a Spanish teacher, I had to drive to Charleston 2-3 times a week (depending on the semester). I would talk on the phone some as I got into the car and as I arrived at my destination (please no lectures, I had my hands-free device). On the way home after my 3rd night of class, I would typically ride in silence out of sheer exhaustion. But, I welcomed the hour of dead air where I couldn't talk on the phone. My iPod and I would have a time together. I would worship with tears running down my face and a few very memorable times where I could barely catch my breath over the amount of love pouring between my Lord and myself.

I completed my degree, quit my many drives to Charleston, and found myself missing my music! I had had too many audiology classes to be fearful of the hearing loss dangers to have Nina hearing any music above a whisper (exaggeration mine). Then, I got my running stroller. True, I will never be a competitive runner (nor do I have a desire to do so), and if nothing else, I have gotten my music back.

My reason for running is this: to take time to offer up my physical body to God while spending time in worship. Do not be surprised if you see me running with a hand held high, tears running down my face, and goosebumps down my spine. I have found my forum of worship. This evening, I ran with my head full of thoughts and fears that have become new in my life in the last 48 hours. I wrestled, prayed, and ran. It's all I could do. As I approached the end of my run, the song I needed to hear came on "Do it, Lord" by Travis Cottrell. "This is our prayer, oh God. This is my desperate cry. In these days that we're living now, let Your Kingdom come, let Your will be done."

"Therefore I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God - this is your spiritual act of worship." Romans 12:1 (NIV)

The writer's block has opened up!!

Has it really been 10 months since I last blogged?! That has not been for a lack of things to blog about, however a lack of blogging umph. I have recently discovered some fabulous blogs that have gotten me back in the excitement of the random rambling that IS blogging (my blogging, at least).

So, in the last ten months, Nina has rolled, crawled, walked, run, weaned, talked, had ear infections, filled us with love, had a birthday, had her first participatory holiday season, had an ER visit for a busted up eye, and has fallen deeply in love with the "dawg, dawgs".

I have, been somewhat successful at teaching and having a baby at home, completed my weight loss journey with Weight Watchers (50 pounds down), started running, survived my first vacation with a baby, become a brunette (I guess I should say that I went back to being a brunette, since it is actually my natural color; who knew?!), gone through a super spiritually dry time, and came out of it, and decided to train for a marathon (What is wrong with me?!).

Lee has joined me in Weight Watchers and lost 30 pounds, chiseled his seminary degree down to one more remaining class (praise Jesus!), completed his first 1/2 marathon, decided to train for the full marathon with me, had an incredible soccer season, and has put up with me with kindness and love.

With this much past us, I decided to dedicate my first reentry to the blogging world to the what I did and would/wouldn't do again in my first year and a half of mommyhood.

1) Cloth diapers- Oh my, the verbal beating we took for making this decision!! Would I do it again? Without a doubt! They are easy, cheap (after the initial buy), green (environmentally, we only had 2 green diapers :) ), and easier on the bum. Truth be told, I probably would be more relaxed when it came to traveling and would use disposables when we are on a trip; it just added more stress.

2) The Babywise series - DEFINITELY! We have done Babywise, Babywise 2, and are on Toddlerwise. These books make so much sense, helped me keep my head attached, and helped me to have some sort of direction on bringing up this little gem. I am still in shock that we get sent home with such a great responsibility with so little direction! Nina naps 3 hours a day and sleeps 12-13 hour a night and it's all credited to these books. People always comment on her happiness and I swear it's because of this.

3) Homemade baby food - Probably would do it again. Did it take some time? Yes. Did it take a little more effort? Yes. But, did it save a ton of money? Yes. and I feel it is the reason that Nina would rather have a pear or green beans to chips or cookies. One of her words is "Bockee" which is toddler for "broccoli".

4) Weight Watchers to lose baby weight - THE EASIEST THING ON THIS WHOLE LIST! I was more plump when I got pregnant than I had ever been in my life (thanks, Spanish degree, I appreciate it), then once I added a baby, and many blizzards and I was embarrassed of where the scale stopped when I got on it. I was a nursing mother and read a lot about being sure I was getting enough calories to provide for Nina, but not too much to provide for my hips. What a fine line!! Weight Watchers had a nursing mother's plan that made it easy. To someone that had been vexed by calorie counting and body image, I was rescued by WW. I became a runner (actually a stroller runner, at first) and lost the weight without even really noticing I was doing anything. If you want to lose weight and have tried for years, do WW. So easy, that Lee was able to do it without blinking!

I have so many more random thoughts running around in my head right now, expect a huge influx of blog posts in the next few days. Watch out blogosphere, Carmen is back!