Giving up a bad habit

Recently, I was having dinner with Lee when we saw a well-admired mother in our community who has multiple children who have attended, and graduated from the top of their class at one of our country's most prestigious colleges. This family has made unique choices in their family that have obviously worked very well for their family. We asked the mother if one of her children would be participating in a particular sporting event (one that would require considerable time). She went on to express that she didn't think it would work well with their family schedule and then said words that have become engrained upon my whole inner-thought process: "That's just not our priority." (The child would still play the sport, just not for that organization.)

I was taken in a flashback to Lee coming home from a retreat for pastors several years ago and they had a priority session. They asked them to make a list of what they would consider a priority in their life. Then, on a separate list, they asked them to make a list of where they spent most of their time. I don't know about you and your time, but my time constraints don't always align with my set priorities. Since this conversation, I have found myself really weighing what we do, and the priority in which we put it. 

Knowing the majority of people I know (much like myself) would put down God and family as definite priorities, I then weighed how I spent my time. Does where my time goes reflect those as my top two priorities? How about when I try to mix the two and have spending time with God with my family. Or spending time to impress upon my children the Truths that have set me free. Is that shown?

As I evaluated my time, I was nearly sickened by myself in one particular area: my time I have spent on social media. I have found that when I am having "family time", I seemed to always have a growth in the form of my phone refreshing news feeds and timelines. Even if my phone isn't in my hand, frustration or preoccupation with what I've read is with me, influencing the way I feel and the conversations I have. The more I realized how much time I spent on social media, I also realized what a habit it had become. The amount of time that I am seemingly "engaged" in conversation, but every two seconds, I am hitting the phone button and opening my phone to check for notifications. I hated the way I have become the topic of countless blogs pointing to our lack of social engagement. I realized that I am choosing interest in people's posts over taking interest in my people. I have chosen communication with people I have met once over communication with those I have committed my life to. (I really hate when I have to end a sentence in a preposition.)

So, I am in the process of setting my priorities straight by kicking this bad habit. I will still have Facebook and Twitter and Instagram and will still post to the three. But, I am refusing to live my life attached to my phone to see how others are living theirs. Because, let's be honest: if that's how I'm living, I'm not living at all.

I'm not saying this to say that smart phones are the devil (even though I may have been searching for my old Razor). And I'm definitely not saying that everyone is as addicted to the habit as I am. (I may or may not have diagnosed Lee with the same addiction.) But, for me, I don't want Nina to remember me as someone she can only reach if she tweets me. I want to look her in the eyes and have a conversation and we know how to respond to one another. 

I hope the "that's not our priority" echoes through my mind for years. When we choose new jobs, activities, etc., I want to be able to align them with my priorities. 

I will spend the next few weeks redefining my priorities, evaluating my time, and kicking the button-pushing habit. If it takes me a while to get back to you, I've left my phone in a different room (or have had to force myself to uninstall apps to give me more of a barrier) and am probably involved in coloring, tickling, or talking about our days, as I should. Because that IS my priority.