Halfway through my first week at camp, I noticed two white wrinkles at the top of the bridge of my nose and immediately noticed that my nose was beginning to swell. (A swollen nose was one of my first symptoms of pregnancy induced hypertension with Nina that later turned into preeclampsia.)I monitored my blood pressure for that week and the next and realized it was going up. I made an appointment with my OB and he began to evaluate. We were leaving for the beach just 6 days after returning from camp, so, he immediately began running tests. I packed for the beach and didn't know until less than 24 hours before we left if I was allowed to go. My tests came back that it was hypertension and not preeclampsia and was allowed to go to the beach on "take it easy" status. To avoid dragging this blog post through every appointment (I have 2-3 a week), and every blood pressure reading (2-3 a day), we have made it much longer in the pregnancy than I thought we would. When we began to realize this was going to be problematic, I received 2 steroid shots to mature the baby's lungs quicker, was told to transition from "take it easy when you can" to "you need to be still as often as you can". (Anyone who knows me, my OCD tendencies, and my high energy daughter, know that this is super tricky.) Even though I had the same "sentence" when I was pregnant with Nina, it was different this time. My first pregnancy, I think I felt like I was invincible and that I would break my baby (once born) if I pulled a shirt over her head. Now I realize how precious and sacred every day is that he gets to grow stronger inside of me and know that I probably won't hurt him if one of his arms gets stuck in his shirt.
So, we wait. Two days a week, we are consumed with appointments. One day, I have a non-stress test, an appointment, and blood work. Another day, I have an ultrasound and an appointment. Other days of the week, what I do, or what I don't do completely hinges on those two sets of numbers on a blood pressure monitor. Some days, I allow myself to do a load of laundry (and sit to fold, of course), other days, I am "left side laying" (the way to best ensure most adequate blood flow to the arteries.) while trying to entertain Nina. (She often tells me, "Bed rest is just so boring for me." I know, kid. Join the club.) But we're adjusting. (We've been at this same routine for 7 weeks now. We'd better be adjusting.)
We have been consumed by kindness of friends and family through this whole ordeal. They have been eager to cook for us (Lee loves to cook, but is working and coaching soccer 5-6 days a week), call to check on us, offer to babysit, to bring reading material, to put up with my incessant texting... Some days, the love that we feel brings me to tears (and not just because of the hormones). But there are also days that are so tough. Especially early, I was researching NICU facilities, looking for preemie clothes, worrying if my bed rest was going to put Nina in therapy for the rest of her life, and being consumed with so many other possibilities. Basically, I have entirely too much time to think.
On top if it all, as we rapidly are approaching delivery, we are faced with the unknowns of me having placenta accreta again. Traditional ways of testing for the condition (ultrasound and MRI) are for traditional cases (former cesarean patients or those with uterine scarring). The fact is, I shouldn't have had it the first time, so we have no idea if it will happen again. Our OB (who is a family friend) has been incredible to walk us through all of the possibilities and options. We are still praying for clarity as we make our decision as to how to handle this so to not have as traumatic of an experience as the last time. We desire your prayers as we seek wisdom, guidance, discernment, and courage.
Last week, I watched (and have watched again since) the interview with Dr. Kent Brantly about him surviving Ebola. (If you haven't seen it, you missed out on one of the greatest testaments to sharing The Lord through a terrible virus) Dr. Brantly talks about a prayer he prayed while he was in Liberia, "Lord, I know You can save me... But if you choose not to, I will remain faithful to You. I will not deny You." Oh, how my fears have been calmed by his prayer. We have no idea what will come about in the next few weeks, but we know we will remain faithful.
"I will lift up my eyes to the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from The Lord, the maker of heaven and earth." Psalm 121:1
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