Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Will I ever be good at blogging?

After watching the movie "Julie and Julia" (an amazing movie), I realized the neglect that has been done to my blog. Not all things on this blog will be baby-centered, but be prepared to hear lots about my little joy.

Being a mom has always been something that I knew I wanted to do. I knew I would love my child and spending time with her, but oh my word!! Nobody warned me that I would come to love (and like) her more every day. Last week was Lee's first seminary class since Nina was born. She and I were alone all week. I was so scared that she would have some horrid accident or come down with a life-threatening disease in the 4 days he was gone. I was wrong (Praise Jesus!) and she and I enjoyed a week of girl time. I used to dread Lee's weeks in seminary like I dread going to Wal-Mart in December. We would spend most evenings frustrated with the lack of cell phone service and intensity that his courses require. I used to look forward to the night they would leave Parchment Valley to go to Gino's Pizza for Two for Tuesdays because I knew the cell service would be consistent. This class, however, we had the joy of webcams! Several times during the day, Lee would be able to chime into the mecca of girl-time. Every night, he would "go" with me as I tucked Nina in and would be able to pray with us. First seminary class= great success!

This week marks the end of my stay-at-home-mom era. I can't believe that it's time for it to be over! When I was on bedrest and had to miss the first day of school, I thought that by the time the second semester came around, then I would be ready to go back to work- boy was I badly mistaken! I have gotten so accustomed to our little life of me being home and playing homemaker! My house and life has felt so under control. The time of dread started probably in October when I realized how quickly the first two months had gone by and I knew the next two would be equally as fast. So, here we are. I went to school today to somewhat get my bearings and prepare for the return to the world of early mornings and high-heels. I have missed my coworkers and students, but the thought of not smelling like spit-up and carrying a diaper bag everywhere is a little unsettling!

I am so lucky for my child-care workers to be my husband, mother, mother-in-law, and close friend. I know they all love Nina and will take such good care of her. As I started to wallow in my self-pity of all of the things I would miss, I was so convicted by the things I was failing to see. While singing in our praise band on Sunday, I had the realization that I was choosing to fail to see the fact that I had been called to teach and to minister to my students everyday. The place I have the opportunity to go to every morning, isn't just a job, but my place of ministry and my mission field. I had been praying for a peace that passes understanding, and I found it.

Stay tuned for more consistent blogging-hopefully...

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