The Pain of a Calling

Yesterday morning, I woke up a little after 7:00, rolled over to turn on the Today Show, grabbed a cup of coffee (we had just started brewing a new bag of my favorite coffee: Seattle's Best!), and grabbed my phone to continue my daily embarkation into the world of social media. My newsfeeds were peppered full of mothers' lamentations about where time had gone and cute kids with new clothes, new backpacks, and not a complaining eye about heading back to the world of education. (Disclaimer: there were no pictures of high schoolers. They will still complain. Trust me.) My home county started back this week, but my current county doesn't start back until next week. Hence my slight giggle as I saw other counties going to school and I was just going to refill my mug. ;)

Flashback several weeks ago when I saw my summer vacation slipping away from me. I began to feel sad about the constant feeling of stress that comes with being a full-time working mom. About barely seeing my pastor-coach-husband as soccer season begins to eat his time and his thoughts. And about the early mornings. At which point, I started my yearly financial analysis where I started to scrutinize our spending to find spots where we can make cuts to justify me quitting my job to stay home full time with Nina. 

(I feel that she would not be happy about this since she has told me several times in the last few weeks that she missed Mrs. Heather. I asked if I was boring. She never replied. She didn't have to.)

However, a funny thing happened to me this summer (not funny "haha", but funny "yay God!"), I was given a different perspective on our family's life of ministry. In the past, I always thought that I was a teacher and Lee was a youth pastor. (I have joked that one of us should have married for money...) After seven years of marriage, I started to look at things differently: I wasn't a teacher, but a minister to students in the school (who also makes them learn a ridiculous amount of vocabulary and conjugate verbs in 14 forms. Grin.) I looked back at when I decided to be a teacher and realized that it wasn't a choice made for the high pay, immense respect from society, and the short work hours (insert sarcasm where necessary). I chose to be a teacher because it is what The Lord called me to do. Nina asked me, "Momma, what is your job?" I told her, "I'm your momma and a teacher." "Why?" (A question I hear quite often these days) "Because it's what God asked me to do and I said 'yes'". The same week, at Sunday School, one of my adopted sons, Jesse, said "I don't think you should ask God to change your situation, but change your perspective." And that week, my perspective changed to tell me that my situation shouldn't. 

When Lee and I were first engaged, I heard him preach a sermon about how, as Christians, we are all called to full-time ministry. Maybe not in a church in the "traditional" setting of ministry. Maybe not preaching sermons or wearing suits. But maybe in a classroom, an office, a hospital, at home, or wherever God has called you. 

As much as I can't change my spiritual gifts, my talents, or my calling, I can definitely change my perspective. And I'm grateful to start a new venture into my calling soon. Sometimes "taking up your cross" can come in all forms. I'm ready.