To Dream a Dream

Meet the Walker women. We are basically 5 peas in a pod. A pod that stretches across 3,000 miles, but a pod, nonetheless. (Auntie lives in Seattle) I'm not talking about the fact that 3/5 of us walk with our feet turned out (That's the Stewart in us; Nannie's feet are straight and Lee's genes of turning in were more dominant in Nina), that we often get choked (embarrassingly) on our own saliva, are annoyingly strongly independent, or that we can keep secrets well (as long as not from each other).

(True story: Lee has been known to time us to see how long it takes for news to travel through the whole Walker Women Phone Tree. I never heard the exact results, but it wasn't long.)

Today, I am talking about our weird dreams. WEIRD, Y'ALL. Nannie taught 2nd grade and, after Grandad passed away, she also ran the family exterminating business. She once dreamed that there were little green men jumping out of cinder blocks. She also dreamed that there were alligators in the creek that ran behind her school that swallowed one of her students. She singlehandedly opened the mouth of the gator and removed the boy. This is just the iceberg of our crazy dreams.

When Lee and I first got married, I would wake up to his hazel eyes staring at me. Not in the "I could lie awake, just to hear you breathing... and I don't want to miss a thing" type of stare but as to say "hurry up and tell me every detail before you forget" stare. Often times, I think he has wished my dreams weren't so vivid. For example, one night I dreamed he cheated on me with an Asian lady named "Tamiflu". (Totally during the Swine Flu epidemic.) He might not like them, but he is always fascinated.

Last night, I dreamed that we walked in our house to find that someone had stolen the middle section of our Christmas tree. (Please no angry messages about real trees vs. artificial. I'M ALLERGIC TO ALL FORMS OF NATURE. THEY CAN'T COME IN MY HOUSE, lest I perish. Not really. Hopefully.)

(Even though I did have my eye swell shut during an allergy shot when my tolerance for dust mites reached the top)

(That was after 2 benadryl. I went to the grocery store after. Ain't nobody gonna break my style...)

Anyway. Middle section of the tree was gone. I see the gentlemen collecting our recycling and ask if they know anything about it. They said it was a man that hated me. He had come to our wedding and hated it, therefore, hated me. (Had to have been one of those weird TLC shows) I called a friend of mine who is a police officer and he said "You could involve the cops. But, let's be honest: steal his tree back!" I decided to wait in my house by the window that they had obviously climbed through, locked it, and waited for them to return. And like every good dream: of course they did! I grabbed them by the hands and pulled them in the living room where they got a good solid tongue lashing. I informed them how ridiculous it was to steal the middle section of the tree and how the law enforcement agents had advised me to RIP OUT THE MIDDLE OF THEIR TREE. He said "Now, just because I got a little naughty doesn't mean you have to act so hastily." And I said "Sir. You may be naughty, but I will continue to be nice." and I woke up. 

Intense, y'all. Who steals the middle of a tree?! Still not over it. I totally should have at least stolen the bow off his wreath. 

I got this email from my loving husband today: 

(Shows how well he listens; THEY CAME IN THROUGH THE WINDOW!)

Several years ago, I had a reoccurring dream that I talked about with our pastor who has a degree in counseling. He (correctly) identified some underlying fears in my life. After those dreams stopped, I had a dream that I had a purple pet shark that I walked on a leash. He told me I must have eaten too closely to bed time. I think it's a Walker woman trait that we are blessed to have. There are few places more entertaining than our brains.