Giving up a bad habit

Recently, I was having dinner with Lee when we saw a well-admired mother in our community who has multiple children who have attended, and graduated from the top of their class at one of our country's most prestigious colleges. This family has made unique choices in their family that have obviously worked very well for their family. We asked the mother if one of her children would be participating in a particular sporting event (one that would require considerable time). She went on to express that she didn't think it would work well with their family schedule and then said words that have become engrained upon my whole inner-thought process: "That's just not our priority." (The child would still play the sport, just not for that organization.)

I was taken in a flashback to Lee coming home from a retreat for pastors several years ago and they had a priority session. They asked them to make a list of what they would consider a priority in their life. Then, on a separate list, they asked them to make a list of where they spent most of their time. I don't know about you and your time, but my time constraints don't always align with my set priorities. Since this conversation, I have found myself really weighing what we do, and the priority in which we put it. 

Knowing the majority of people I know (much like myself) would put down God and family as definite priorities, I then weighed how I spent my time. Does where my time goes reflect those as my top two priorities? How about when I try to mix the two and have spending time with God with my family. Or spending time to impress upon my children the Truths that have set me free. Is that shown?

As I evaluated my time, I was nearly sickened by myself in one particular area: my time I have spent on social media. I have found that when I am having "family time", I seemed to always have a growth in the form of my phone refreshing news feeds and timelines. Even if my phone isn't in my hand, frustration or preoccupation with what I've read is with me, influencing the way I feel and the conversations I have. The more I realized how much time I spent on social media, I also realized what a habit it had become. The amount of time that I am seemingly "engaged" in conversation, but every two seconds, I am hitting the phone button and opening my phone to check for notifications. I hated the way I have become the topic of countless blogs pointing to our lack of social engagement. I realized that I am choosing interest in people's posts over taking interest in my people. I have chosen communication with people I have met once over communication with those I have committed my life to. (I really hate when I have to end a sentence in a preposition.)

So, I am in the process of setting my priorities straight by kicking this bad habit. I will still have Facebook and Twitter and Instagram and will still post to the three. But, I am refusing to live my life attached to my phone to see how others are living theirs. Because, let's be honest: if that's how I'm living, I'm not living at all.

I'm not saying this to say that smart phones are the devil (even though I may have been searching for my old Razor). And I'm definitely not saying that everyone is as addicted to the habit as I am. (I may or may not have diagnosed Lee with the same addiction.) But, for me, I don't want Nina to remember me as someone she can only reach if she tweets me. I want to look her in the eyes and have a conversation and we know how to respond to one another. 

I hope the "that's not our priority" echoes through my mind for years. When we choose new jobs, activities, etc., I want to be able to align them with my priorities. 

I will spend the next few weeks redefining my priorities, evaluating my time, and kicking the button-pushing habit. If it takes me a while to get back to you, I've left my phone in a different room (or have had to force myself to uninstall apps to give me more of a barrier) and am probably involved in coloring, tickling, or talking about our days, as I should. Because that IS my priority. 

Pregnancy update: week 15

15 weeks (actually 14 weeks, 6 days. But for real, it's close enough) 

(Forgive how fancy I look today. It's Spring Break!)

By all sources, we are officially in the second trimester! (Praise Jesus!) Pregnancy so far is really going well. First trimester was vexed with all-day sickness from week 6 (pretty sure starting on race weekend) and flu-like fatigue. (All of which are normal and good signs of things going well!) (Also things that I'm so glad are over)

As with Nina, I show early and get traditional signs and symptoms earlier than the books say I should. I was in maternity clothes at 9 weeks and have already felt daily movements from the little one. (I first felt Nina at 13 weeks) Most folks think I'm crazy. And they're right. But, 'tis true.

(Me at 9 weeks.)

Generally, my symptoms are quite different than with Nina: 

-with this one, I felt car sick all day every day that got progressively worse during the day. 

-With Nina, I was only sick if I ate an apple before lunch. Weird. 

-With this one, my whole body is covered in dry skin that has turned into eczema (sometching genetic that I've had since I was 2 months old)

-With Nina, my face was a pizza: oily and covered in red spots. (Mom laughs about a morning I called her sobbing saying that my body would never be the same. She silently laughed in agreement, but was sweet and empathetic. Then she realized I meant my acne and then she could offer me hope.)

(15 weeks with #2 versus Nina. Obviously, I wasn't on spring break at 15 weeks with Nina.)

Many people say that it must be a boy since the pregnancies are so different. But, I have many friends with the same gender baby and completely different pregnancies. I won't be sold on a gender until the ultrasound. Also, folks ask what we want. All we want is a healthy baby. It would be more convenient to have a girl, since we have girl things, but fun to have a boy to have one of each. (And I would be lying if I said having a boy would make me nervous! I know girls! I mean, I kind of am one, but am willing to learn to be rough and tumble.)

No stretch marks yet and sleep is okay. Just a few nights of insomnia and 1-2 potty breaks a night. Appetite is slightly more, but not insatiable. Cravings have been few. Early in the pregnancy, all I could choke down was crunchy tacos, or  Asian food (Japanese, Chinese, Thai... I didn't descriminate). Now, I have a hankering for chocolate milkshakes, but have only given in a few times. It's a catch 22. I want sweets, but sweets make me feel nauseous. 

I haven't run any since the half-marathon. Now that the trimester of fatigue is over, I've had a cold followed by a sinus infection. I'm hoping to start putting miles back in today or tomorrow. Running is the only thing I really miss. 

Generally, this has been an uneventful pregnancy (I like it that way). I have had a few weird episodes of having a tingly tongue. The first time, I had a banana and 15 minutes later, a tingly mouth and tongue. I have had bananas since and no problems. Several weeks later, I had a babybel cheese then tingly tongue, dizzy, disoriented and felt like I was going to pass out. Lee had to pick me up from work and I slept for several hours. I felt tired for a few days after, but good. Then last week, I had spaghetti (with no cheese) and got tingly mouthed again. (But no other symptoms) I googled it (what else is a girl to do?! *grin*) and many people suggested food allergies. No foods are in common and I've had the food other times with no problems. The only thing that is in common is the time of day it happens: lunch time. It's odd and I'm doing massive detective work. (And promise to mention it to my doctor at my appointment next week.)

We have names narrowed down and nursery ideas rolling around, but can't move on either until we have a gender. Although Nina wants a sister, she informed me that "I won't be sad if we have a boy!". So basically, none of us care at all about which we get. 

More updates to come! 

QOTD: Have you ever had tingly tongue symdrome during pregnancy? (I named it myself. Don't be googling my pretend disorder)