How Carmen Got Her Groove Back

2016 has been a YEAR. In some ways, it has been amazing. I've never been in such desperate need of a Savior, gotten to meet so many new amazing new people, moved into a great house, have found a new church that has opened themselves to love and to be loved. However, I have NOT been kind to 2016.

I recently polled people as to what are the most over-arching commands in Scripture are and, nearly across the board, the same two kept coming up: Love God, and love others as yourself. There were many variances on what the third one was (Which was really cool to see what was interpreted based on where that person is in life... so neat). But, I began to realize that, in the journey that 2016 has sent us on, I have not done those two well.

When we decided to move, my health took a nose dive. I had a horrible time finding time to house hunt because I always had a cold. The day we moved into our tiny apartment, I came down with a horrible virus that had me getting IV fluids and several trips to the hospital clinic. I had gastrointestinal problems for more than 2 weeks, an ear infection that led to a ruptured ear drum, crazy congestion that turned into nasty bronchitis. And this pattern has continued. Since October, I have had 5 colds and a stomach bug. My hands tingle, my hair is falling out in clumps, I have debilitating fatigue, and often have body aches... my doctor has run every test possible and they've all come back as negative (thyroid, mono, lupus, low vitamin D...) with the exception of an elevated rheumatoid factor that I will have looked at by a rheumatologist in February.

As 2016 draws to an end, I have thought about WHEN I felt the best and what I was doing then. As much as returning to the scene of a crime, I'm returning to the scene of sanity in an attempt to regain mine.

2016 was the year of the move that had months in the tiny apartment and horrible health. 2015, I had a newborn, experienced a spiritual attack triggered by betrayal of a friend, and was balancing working mom + two kids. 2014, I was pregnant and spent many months on bedrest and post partum recovery from HELLP syndrome. 2013, one of my best friend's daughter's tragically died and I had a miscarriage. The last time I felt sane was 2011-2012. That was the last time.

The biggest deficits that I'm currently experiencing is 1) spiritual deficits 2) health deficits and 3) house deficits. Recognizing problems without a plan of attack is just like saying "Yep, there's a fire" without trying to find anything with which to extinguish it.

Here is the plan of change:

1) Spiritual - in 2011, I was actively memorizing scripture with the support of the Siesta Scripture Memory Team. 1 verse every 2 weeks = 24 verses in 2017! Those verses I memorized in 2011 and 2013 are still active in my mind. I have ordered my spiral for 2017 and am getting a new pack of the super sticky notes (super stickies withstand shower steam for the shower mirror). Our church is doing a church-wide plan of reading thru the Bible in a year. I've done this several times, but not for several years. A general deficit in every area can be drawn back to a lack of time studying and knowing the Word of God.

2) Health - I have gained 20 pounds since we decided to move. While this may be another indicator of whatever is going on with my health, it is also has been a year where I have not fueled and treated my body well. I have not exercised, have not been careful about if what I'm putting in my body is FUEL or is just something edible. I have been putting water in my tank of my "car" and complaining that my car doesn't perform as it should. It's time for a tune up and putting GAS in the tank. Starting next week, Lee and I will be doing a cleanse comprised of only whole foods. To tell you how serious I am about how lousy I always feel, this week, I am tapering off my coffee to prepare myself to give it up. Maybe only for a short time, but I don't want any food or drink like I just want to feel good again. (Along with sugar, gluten, dairy, and most meats) After the cleanse is over, we will be doing the new Weight Watchers program paired with at home workouts and running.

3) House - Seeing that, for half of last year, we didn't OWN a home, this one is a little easier than the health change. We are spending this week purging Brooks' room and the toy room and getting them organized. The only spaces that need painted in our house is the laundry room and the hallways/stairwell. We will be reimplementing The Fly Lady house cleaning plan. Spend 15 minutes a day and have a house that's always clean. I've done this since Nina was an infant and it works beautifully when you actually DO it. And yes, there's an app for that.

My favorite scripture is Galatians 5:16 "So, I say walk by the Spirit and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh." (ESV) Later, in verse 22, it spells out the Fruits of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control. I began to think about how, in the year 2016, I have primarily focused on "patience" and the others have been neglected.

Then I started to examine to whom I have shown the least love, kindness, gentleness, joy, and self control. The answer was me. I loved others, granted them grace and forgiveness. Assumed the best of them. But to myself, I was the easiest target that was treated the worst. I was a failure because my pants were too tight. My house was a mess and I wasn't spending time in the Word and I hid from myself, my husband, and my God because I wasn't worthy.

Matthew 22:38 says, "And the second is like it: you shall love your neighbor as yourself." I pray that I treat my friends and neighbors better than I treat myself. I realize that, even though I am God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus (Eph 2:10), I have not illustrated the Fruits of the Spirit to MYSELF. And that regaining self discipline (Self-control) will be the key to loving the Lord with all heart, mind, and soul (and body) and loving my neighbors, and loving myself.

 I was discussing all of this with Lee on our way to my parents' for Christmas. Once we got to opening presents, my mom got me a bracelet with the Fruits of the Spirit listed with zero knowledge of this conversation that had taken place an hour before. (The Lord has to be entertained by how directly He has to speak to me sometimes.)

Time to focus and get some self-control by the power of the Holy Spirit in 2017.

Revelation 21:5: "And he who was seated on the throne said 'Behold, I am making all things new.' Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true."

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