As many pieces of advice have been invaluable, there are three different things that have been said to me that I echo in my mind often and always bring me to a place of reality. (And they came from 3 of my favorite women!)
1. You can't argue with crazy; crazy always wins - Melissa Dorsey
Any time I have gotten myself all bent out of shape and think of "what I'm going to say...", I'm always reminded of this especially when I'm reading things on social media that people are obviously feeling strongly about and other people start to argue with them and by the end of 259 comments, people are cussing, calling names and getting tons of "likes" for an extra-cutting remark. The argument ends and nothing is solved except that a relationship has ended and two parties have labeled the other as "hateful".
Or maybe it is a person that suddenly gives you a piece of their mind and you have NO idea where their accusations have come from. This is where Lee's quote, "perception is reality" comes to play. How someone perceives a situation is what they think is true. And they're not gonna change their minds. I've also found that the crazy comes out in me the fastest when I let the crazy in my head. So, don't argue with crazy; crazy always wins. (And thanks to y'all that have put up with me when I've been the crazy.)
2. Don't go to the doctor if you have zero intention of taking their orders. - Meg Ashby
Second opinions may occasionally be sought after, but if I'm going to go to the doctor, sit in the waiting room for an hour, get an exam, and pay my co-pay, I'm going to take what the doctor says as some type of seriousness. People make a career doing what they do because they know something about it. And if I know all there is to know, why would I go ask? If I want opinions about running, and am faced with a professional runner or an ice skater, I'm going to listen to the one that has studied the races, tried out lots pacing techniques, has run thousands of miles, and thinks about running all the time.
I have zero medical training (okay, a few nuggets of audiology training that can help with ear problems, but that doesn't really count as being a "medical professional".) Some of the worst news from the doctors I've gotten was the bed rest diagnosis (I've been blessed with great health), but knowing that my doctor went to school for many many years to know what's best for mommas and babies, I listened, and I was able to keep that baby cooking for a bit longer. And paid my copay.
3. Your #1 goal as a mother is to raise and teach your children how to be independent adults. -Jeanne Lowe
As a mother, I have found that there are multiple things that would just be easier if I did it myself. But, I think back to the things I was taught to do as a child that made a transition to adulthood so much easier. (Helping with laundry, learning how to cook, setting the table, etc.) Not only did I learn basic tasks, I also learned that the world and the people in it, didn't revolve around me, but that I was a small part of a greater world and I had to contribute to do my share. People were counting on me (both as a kid and as an adult) to do my job and if I did my part, everything worked more smoothly and the stress was alleviated.
I have also found this very helpful when it comes to emotional milestones. With Nina, there have been days where I want to hold on to the days of the past, and I remind myself that The Lord has given me this opportunity to raise up children that will love Him, will love his creations, and will come to learn and embrace their personal gifts. That's my job: to disciple, teach, and encourage. When she moves out of our house, hopefully she will know many basic tasks that she can pass on to her children. (The kid has already asked how long she has to wait until she can use the stove.)
The thing I am most grateful for is that these women pour their lives and wisdom into my life and the lives of others.
And I'm so glad they're never the crazy.
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