Even though that moment was nearly 11 years ago (How is that even possible?!), I have never forgotten that moment. The warm tingle, world standing still, instant breath taken away, moment was still fresh.
Fast forward to the last month.
Recently, the Lord began to lay on our heart an open position at a church in Huntington. When the position first came open, we were well-established in Lee's hometown at his home church where we have served for 8 1/2 years. I have loved everything about my high school teaching position. Both sets of grandparents got to see our kids on a more than weekly basis, we had the best friends, loved the quietness of a small town, Summersville Baptist had opened their arms to me so that I never felt like an outsider. We loved our life and our ministry. But, as my dad has always said, "Then God".
The Lord continued to pursue Lee's heart as I continued to run in the other direction. (I despise change. My parents moved out of their house last year that I grew up in. I cried. Mom often tells me that it's a good thing I didn't marry my college boyfriend who was in the Navy. I would have been an awful military wife.)
We were wrestling so much with a calling that felt so strong to go, but our desire was to stay. I had a conversation with a dear friend one evening. I asked her, "I don't understand how, if this is God's will, why my will has yet to align with His?" Her response changed me. "I don't think there is a single person in scripture that jumped up and down and said 'YES! Please send me there!' Not Moses, not Abraham, not Jonah, Jeremiah, Joseph... but they were obedient and God used them in mighty ways. Peace and obedience." Man, she spoke Truth to my soul.
A few days later, Lee had a meeting with people from the new church in which they asked him what his favorite attribute of God was. His response was "His presence". He began to expound on the months of uncertainty and fear through all of my pregnancy complications with both Nina and Brooks. He said that in the midst of all of it all, he never doubted God's presence. When he was telling me about it, he said that the Spirit was strong and could nearly physically be felt.
Two days later, we were at Junior High Convention. The speaker took a quick detour off of his main text to Exodus 33. As he read through the account of Moses, our hearts stopped as we read verse 14: "The Lord replied, 'My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest."
We continue to read that verse over and over again. The feeling was so similar as to the aforementioned moment with my marriage, but so much more intense. My heart began racing, I couldn't find a single breath in my lungs, and I began to sob. (As I'm doing right now as I recount the event)
We had asked for clarity and He was giving it. But in my human nature, I needed more. (Ugh. I get so annoyed by myself) I prayed, "Lord, if this is Your will, I need a job."
Sunday morning of the convention, we were eating breakfast in the hotel lobby beside some youth leaders we had met the day before. Their youth pastor was at a wedding, so they volunteered to bring their students. In casual conversation, I asked the wife what she did for a living. She proceeded to say that she was an audiologist that ran a deaf preschool at Marshall University. I told her that my masters degree was in deaf education. In more conversation, she said that the program was auditory/oral. My training in grad school specialized in auditory/oral deaf education and I didn't think I would find an opportunity to use this training outside of Knox County especially with WV being a "Total Communication" (Sign with voice) area. I stalked her online to find her email address and found out that there was an open position that was part time. (I have always said that I wanted to work part time since I became a mom, but didn't think that teaching would ever offer that opportunity.) I will have an official interview after the first of the year.
When we first felt the Lord leading us toward this position, my heart landed on the song "Ever Be" by Bethel. I listened to that song day in and day out. After the events of Exodus and breakfast, we were sure of the Lord's intentions with us. Then, the closing worship song for the weekend was "Ever Be". That was the first time I had ever heard the song not on the album. (At this point, I told God "Enough with the clarity; You're freaking me out!)
He had been clear and we were in awe.
Here we are terrified, needing to sell and buy a house, and heart broken over leaving family, friends, and familiarity. My dad has pastored the same church for 41 years. While I know he is an anomaly, this whole concept is completely foreign to me. However we are excited and filled with expectation as to what is next. I could write for days of other events as to how God's will for this area has been crystal clear. (But eventually you would hit the red x and leave me. If you're still there now...)
So, bear with us through this transition. I haven't baked the first batch of Chex Mix, cookies, or made any homemade cinnamon rolls. Teacher gifts will be store bought, I relinquished my wrapping to Lee, and we will send New Years cards instead of Christmas cards. However, God has been faithful to us through so much and we know He will continue. While we are more sad than a dictionary has words to explain, we know that since He has been so present with us, He will go with us.
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