But I want to be an apple tree!

The other day, I was getting ready for a run, when I hear the familiar sound of Nina preparing to be a monkey. (She comes by it naturally. Her dad jumped off the kitchen table when he was 18 months old in response to his mom telling him to "Get down!" So he did.) I hear the sound of a kitchen chair getting scooted around for her to retrieve what her little heart desired. (Also, being my child, 5' 1", learning young how to climb on things to get what you want is a skill necessary for success in life.) I find her gathering all of the apples out of our fruit bowl. I knew she loved apples, and her climbing to get one is a very regular occurrence in our house, but when I saw her reach for apple #4, I asked what she was doing. This is the conversation that transpired:

Nina: "I'm going to take all of the apples outside to that tree."

Me: "Why do you want to do that?"

N: "Because I want it to be an apple tree."

M: "But, baby girl, that is a Maple Tree, it wasn't made to grow apples."

N: "But if I work really hard and put these apples on it, will it then be an apple tree?"

M: "Nina, God makes us all for a purpose; a purpose that He has for us. No matter what we do to that big old tree, it will still be a maple tree, because that's how God made it and that's how God wants it. And nothing we do can change its purpose."

N: "I still want it to be an apple tree."

I went on to my run (this was my 7 mile day), I was keenly aware of all of the trees I passed. I became so jealous of nature. Nature doesn't question God's purpose for it. I've never seen a poodle proclaim that it really wants to be a rose and plant itself in a garden and demand to be watered and given to a 15 year old girl for $34 on February 14. A poodle is made to be a water dog. (true fact: poodle means "puddle" in German. I think. The Westminster Dog Show will be on in 5 short weeks, I'll verify again to be certain.)

(Even though my 90lb Golden Retriever does often act like she wants to be a lap dog.)

I was thinking about how much of my life I have spent covering myself in apples swearing I wasn't a maple tree. Or, even when I've embraced the fact that I was made to give shade and syrup (and those fantastic helicopters that provide us with hours of entertainment. And sweeping), I would spend time wishing I was a deer because they get to move. Or get awesome fur that changes colors in the winter. 

I wonder how much more I could have learned more about myself or how I could have figured out how to use my purpose for God if I would have stopped trying to change who I was or wishing I was like someone else. How much less tainted I would be if I hadn't cut off branches, trying to be a blade of grass.

Knowing that I can't go back in time, I am going to do my part to try to remember, now, that I was made a maple tree because that's how God fit me into His plan. Anytime I start to fantasize about how much fun it would be to be a dolphin, I will remind myself that dolphins were made beautiful, gray, with that cool nose, and put in the sea because that's how they can best fulfill their little part of God's greater plan. One of my biggest jobs now is to teach my daughter that there's no point wasting her time covering herself in apples to make herself appear to be an apple tree. How boring would this world be if we only had one type of tree?? 

And be there to talk her through it when she declares, "But I still want to be an apple tree!"